Category: General Essay

The vanguard of the baby boomers have reached their eighth decade.  We have to face the fact that we are aging.  For the most part, I’ve been quite fortunate.  I have no diabetes nor heart disease.  Up until the time I have turned seventy, I would claim that I was as tough as any twenty-five year old.  I can ride a bike for miles.  I typically hike on wilderness trails for hours at a time.  Kandy and I walk around the neighborhood two miles every weekday morning.  I’ve been able to dig ditches and chop wood with little difficulty.

That is, until I turned seventy.  Things started to take a turn. Five or six years ago, the nurse told me during a check up that I had “incipient COPD”.  I didn’t take much account of that because I still was able to do all those physical activities I’d been doing.

But then I got a slight cold after Christmas this year, and the congestion wouldn’t go way.  I went to the clinic.  They gave me a breathing treatment and sent me home.

A couple of months later, I find myself in the clinic barely able to keep up with my breathing.  The nurse checked my heart for congestive heart failure.  My heart is still good, but my lungs are in a stage of COPD.  They gave me another breathing treatment and a prescription.

Since then, I’ve been doing okay for the most part.  I still can bike and go on hikes.  But sometimes my breathing is a little short at night and my cough can be chronic.  I can still do much of what I’ve always done, except I’ll no longer claim to be as tough as a twenty-five year old.

When you are in your seventies, it is reality that health can only go in one direction; and that’s down.  We do have a job, though, at this point in time of our lives to remain sufficiently active in order to maintain the best we can.

In our circumstances these days, the temptation for everyone, not just us old boomers, but everyone is to take the easy path at all times.  Why walk when we can drive?  Choosing to do something hard is unthinkable.  When Kandy and I walk in our neighborhood in the mornings, we may encounter one or two other people doing likewise.  We’re in a neighborhood of a thousand or more people!  Is that all the people that take walks?  As I’ve said, it’s too easy to sit on the porch rather than take neighborhood walks.

Since I’m in the habit of walking every day,  I find that a crud of some type starts building up in me when I don’t walk daily for a period of time.  It’s a habit I don’t want to quit.

I still may have COPD.  There is nothing I can do to stop it’s progression.  It’s heredity.  However, I can choose to work at staying in the best shape I can in the meantime.  I choose to take hikes on tough trails.  I’ll walk every day.  It’s our duty as owners of aging bodies to sometimes do what is hard to do.  I seek to maintain a degree of “toughness” for as long as I am able.

I may not be able to do what I did as a twenty-five year old, but that won’t stop me from trying.

For most of us, the day does not begin after sleeping in a nest of leaves under a rock cleft, followed by gathering of tubers and berries from nearby wild vegetation; eaten raw without the benefit of fire’s heat.
No, we have the advantage of thousands of years of creative human endeavor that has rendered our species an ability to thrive beyond the imaginations of our predecessors.
The human legacy is the act of creation. We have the gift of rendering “the invisible to become the visible”.
Genesis 1:27, “So God created man in His own Image, in the Image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”
So the Conscious Universe created a creature whose very nature is that of the Eternal Essence. This creature is destined to be a co-creator.
Now this creature is capable of drawing from the Eternal pool of conscious being in order to bring about the attributes of wonder from outside space and time. As a result, he can render what was once a potential to become a reality.
Let’s consider the value of the potential human creativity and his connection with his Eternal nature. Value has to do with the effort and resources that were required to bring about that so called item of value.
Use the perspective of the Conscious Universe. Denote this entity as “He” for brevity.
He has succeeded in the establishment of an aspect of His creation by using His laws of physics combined with aspects of His resources of “Infinity” to bring about a “Big Bang” that took an infinite singularity to an expanding collage of matter and energy.
His initial effort was huge. It took the non-existent invisible to be rendered into the infinite visible. The cost in time to bring this about is in the billions of scalar years.
He was pleased with the visible results of His effort. Great galaxies of huge energy were formed. The wonders of physics were beyond imaginable. His laws of quantum physics allowed events to “collapse” into reality as He observed them.
He yearned for more, though. He brought about all these material attributes that were wonders to behold, but they did not reflect the complete nature of His being.
His creation, to be complete, must reflect his total and true nature. So He embarked upon the most difficult endeavor of all. He began with the initiative germs of Life. It remains a modern mystery as to how He brought about this inconceivable miracle, some how or another. He drew from His pool of Eternity to cross the threshold of the inanatimate to the anatimate.
He used His attributes of emergence. Emergence is the concept of the natural progression of the more simple to the more complex. He invested hundreds of millions of years to this endeavor.
Finally, the emergent nature of life produced a being that had begun to understand the concept of the passage of time. After five or six million years of experimentation, the creative thinking species of humanity came about.
He declared the inception of the human creature as good. The potential to fulfill the ultimate nature of the Conscious Universe in the form of a real touchable visible entity was at hand. He created a visible being that contained the full potential of His own nature.
The potential of a visible consciousness through-out the here-to-fore lifeless Universe was at hand to fill space and time. Eternity was triumphant!
A terrible price had to be paid, though. In order for the new human to fully inherit the role of the visible “Consciousness”, he had to be provided with unlimited choice. No limited attribute of this aspect of nature was acceptable.
At the same time, this physical co-creator’s vision is extremely limited. The task of rendering the invisible to become the visible demands the co-creator to focus his creative attributes on a very limited scope at any one time. His vision, by necessity, must be confined. He can only consider issues on a truncated scale over a concise period of time frame. He is only capable of visualizing tight boundaries.
Yet, he has unlimited choices. Without a firmly established relationship and awareness of the Universal Consciousness, his Creator, his renderings of co-creations can only procure dis-harmony and chaos.
Hence, ambassadors arose to provide examples to the co-creator to provide here-to-fore unseen guidance. By following the guidelines of these Consciosness inspired emissaries, harmonious processes were made possible.
History is repleat with examples of both harmonious and chaotic creations. The key is to seek, and continually seek the guidance of the True Nature of the Conscious Universe.
We humans are often heard repeating the common phrase, “Well, what do you expect? I’m just human.”
“Just human”! After billions of years over the infinity of space, matter, and time that has led to the creation of a living breathing being that immulates the complete Nature of the Conscious Universe, we consider ourselves “just human”! No! We are the infinite potential of the full essence of Eternity in a visible living breathing form! We are the masterpiece!
We now can choose. We can now recognize the Holy potential of our inheritance to grow in our efforts and our relationship with the Eternal; or we can utilize our phenomenal powers to diminish and destroy. It’s all within our grasp, one way or the other.

For the most part, residential construction doesn’t get involved in situations where open trenches and excavations are greater than five feet in depth. However, situations concerning deeper excavations and trenches come into play whenever high retaining walls or formed basement walls are involved. For these reasons, residential home builders should be aware of the regulations and accepted practices in dealing with excavation and trench safety.

The code of federal regulations (CFR) sets forth acceptable related practices under CFR Part 1926.650; Subpart P – Excavations and Trench Safety. These standards are available on-line. These standards apply to all open excavations made on the earth’s surface, including trenches.

This paper is not intended to cover the details of these regulations. It is presented as a general summary regarding what can be anticipated regarding the application of those standards.

All parties who are involved in excavations of any type are responsible for the awareness and knowledge of appropriate excavation standards and procedures.

First of all, excavations must be preceded with proper notification of all owners of possible underground utility facilities.

All excavations of a depth of five feet or greater falls within the jurisdiction of these regulations. Protection of employees in excavations of some approved form is necessary for any and all excavations of depths of five feet or greater.

Several methods of excavation protection systems are depicted by the applicable CFR regulations. These methods are noted.

Allowable Configurations and Slopes – Excavation protections is provided by slopes or benches of depths from zero to twenty feet at a rate of 3/4 horizontal to 1 vertical ratio for Type “A” soils, a rate of 1 horizontal to 1 vertical for Type “B” soils, or 1 1/2 horizontal to 1 vertical for Type “C” soils.

Type “A”, “B”, and “C” soils are described by the regulations, and can be determined at each excavation site by an individual who has been certified to do so. Essentially, Type “A” soils are sound, cohesive, and stiff soils that are undisturbed; Type “B” soils are moderately firm cohesive soils that are undisturbed; and Type “C” soils are non-cohesive, loose, and/or soft soils.

For excavations less than five foot of depth, vertical walls are acceptable as long as the soils are undisturbed an considered competent.

Excavations in stable rock can be cut vertically as long as no falling hazards are anticipated up to depths of twenty feet. All determinations must be provided by a properly certified competent individual.

It is noted that any excavation taken to depths greater than twenty feet must be designed by a qualified professional engineer.

Shields and Shoring – The use of properly designed shields or shores are appropriate for some excavation circumstances. The CFR guidelines provide acceptable configurations for shoring designs.

Shores act to prevent movement of soil excavation walls. Shields are designed to protect personnel from possible excavation wall failure. Shores and shields must also be designed to accommodate the Type “A”, “B”, or “C” soils that may be encountered. Again, any excavation greater than twenty foot of depth must be designed by a qualified professional engineer.

In some configurations, it may be appropriate to use combinations of excavation slope/benches, shores, and/or shields.

Other issues such as egress into and out of the excavation must be satisfied. Confined space considerations may be necessary.

All in all, the supervisor of all excavation operations is responsible for all issues of excavation and trench safety. He is expected to possess the knowledge provided by these applicable codes of federal regulations.

The residential foundation design configurations provided by Tables 401.2(a) and 401.2(b) of the Panhandle Residential Foundation Manual are based primarily on the guidelines offered by the Welded Reinforced Wire Institute’s Concrete Foundation Design Method.

This methodology considers the expansive qualities of the on-site soils as depicted by the “effective plasticity index” of the soils on the proposed building site. This soils information considers the soil classification taken from the surface down to a depth of fifteen feet.

However, the method does not include load factors of soil condition such as moisture content, soil stiffness, or in-place density preparation. These specific factors are considered in the notes of the Manual regarding on-site preparation.

As stated in the Manual, the design criteria presumes uniform structural loadings distributed evenly across the foundation system of 200psf, 275psf, and 350psf for single story, two story, and three story structures, respectively.

For the most part, adherence to the stated Manual foundation design configurations as well as the required site preparation and soil condition criteria should provide for a foundation of adequate performance for the typical foundation structural configuration.

Never-the-less, foundation performance issues can arise under some altered circumstances. Several of the issues brought to mind involves historic examinations of foundation performance problems.

Most of the observed foundation movement problems have to do with perimeter drainage. The Panhandle Residential Foundation Manual stipulates a degree of positive drainage away from the foundation’s perimeter. The idea is to minimize accumulated moisture in the perimeter soils about the structure. However, landscape irrigation or lack of irrigation that is improperly managed creates more problems than does site drainage due to natural precipitation.

Continuous excessive wetting of soils about the perimeter will cause moisture to penetrate perimeter foundation soils well beyond the soil’s initial condition. In expansive soils, this means swelling, or uplift about the perimeter of a lightly loaded residential structure.

The converse is true if the perimeter soils are wetted, then allowed to dry at depth. The perimeter foundation system then shrinks, or settles. The ideal circumstance is to manage the perimeter soils moisture contents at a constant state at all times. Water when needed, but not excessively.

The Manual dictates that water stops be utilized between the construction joints of two pour foundation configurations. This is necessary because perimeter water can easily enter beneath the interior floor slab through the joint between the footing and the slab without water stops.

As previously noted, the Manual foundation design presumes uniform load distributions across the structure. The actual loading conditions across the structure may vary widely from the uniform state. In multi story structures, it is possible that some upper floor level support may be concentrated at certain portions of the foundation system. Conversely, other areas may have lightly loaded sections. Should the aforementioned soil moisture swelling/shrinkage circumstances arise in heavily loaded or lightly loaded foundation sections, then foundation movement problems may be enhanced.

The heavily loaded portions should be treated with local foundation configurations that spread out the loading to become more uniform. The lightly loaded areas should have design configurations that help minimize variations in the uniform loadings.

Thickness of the floor slab can have a factor. The use of five inch or thicker sections seem to aid in the more widespread distribution of loadings, which contributes to a more uniformed load distribution.

Interior basement structures require additional consideration regarding structural loadings. It is common to see the perimeter foundation system subject to uplift due to soil swelling about the non-moving basement structure. The basement behaves as an “anchor” about which the ground level portions of the house can flex. Oftentimes, significant cracking is noted about the perimeter of the interior basement because of exterior perimeter uplift. In homes with interior basements, proper management of the surrounding surface level foundation system against uplift or shrinkage is important.

Adherence to the Panhandle Residential Foundation Manual in the environment of expansive soils is crucial. Usually, though, it is essential that the loadings and site configuration of all foundations systems receive careful cognizance and consideration.

The Websoil Survey website is essentially the digital version of the USDA Soil Survey that had been initiated many years ago. The Survey had publications for individual counties. The soils information data has been available for some time, but the ready access provided on-line has certainly enhanced it’s value.

The City of Amarillo’s Building Safety Department has taken advantage of this on-line access by incorporating the soil description provided in the Panhandle Residential Foundation Manual. For the most part, the Websoil Survey is useful in determining the soil type for any particular site. The described soil type can be utilized for the residential foundation design configuration. However, soil type data is not provided by the Survey in certain specific locations in the Panhandle region. Typically, these areas where no soil data is available are the areas where the soil type is usually lakebed type soil which is a fat clay. These fat clays are the most expansive clays found in the region.

Therefore, in areas where the soil data are most critical for building purposes, no information is provided. Under these circumstances, the Panhandle Residential Foundation Manual directs the builder to use the worst case more substantial foundation system provided by the Manual.

The Websoil Survey does generally provide useful soil type information. In some cases, it gives soil types at varying depths. However, the data is rather generic in nature, and cannot account for recent artificial changes, development modifications, or site specific variations that are probably not noted in the Websoil Survey.

Comments provided by the previous blog, “Initial Site Building Preparations”, where awareness of the history of any site conditions should be the order of the day.

The Panhandle Residential Foundation Manual’s specific design criteria are primarily based on the “effective plasticity index” of a building site. Reference to page 4-1, (Methodology for Determining Effective PI) of the Manual is noted.

The “effective plasticity index” is determined by an analysis of the weighted plasticity index (PI) values of the layers of the soils taken down to the depth of fifteen feet below the finished soil surface. This kind of information on a particular site is of considerably more value that assumed Websoil Survey provided data.

In fact, obtaining actual on-site data may prove to be more economical than reliance on on-line information. The site may be found to contain superior soils than those presumed by the on-line data, hence lower cost foundation.

I have encountered building sites, most particularly in terrain of significant elevation variations, where soil conditions vary within the site. Under these circumstances, it would be wise to examine the soils at the various changing locations.

It must be recalled, though, that at least the “effective plasticity index” must be determined. A surface soil sample is not sufficient. Other considerations such as site drainage, soil moisture contents, soil stiffness, or water table considerations may be called for.

In the long run, a careful understanding of the building site’s soil conditions are essential, whether determined by Websoil Survey or actual on site determinations.

The title of this blog directs to residential building structures. However the principles presented can apply to just about any type of construction that may be placed on the ground.

Specific reference is directed to both pages 4 and 5, notes 2 and 3 for Tables R401.2(a) and R401.2(b) of the Panhandle Residential Foundation Manual:

“Note 2. The effective plasticity index (PI) of the subgrade fill is 15 to 20 (R401.2(a)) or 20 to 25 (R401.2(b)) when computed by methods presented by the WRI…. The supporting foundation soils are assumed to have a minimum allowable soil bearing capacity of 1500 psf.”

Note 3. All subgrade/fill material shall be compacted to a minimum 95% of maximum density and shall be within 2% of optimum moisture content as determined by ASTM D-698, Standard Proctor, in lifts not exceeding 12″ in depth.”

The aforementioned tables and notes set forth the criteria necessary for compliance should the Panhandle Residential Foundation Manual be utilized for a particular residential building site preparation.

Initial site preparation remains the most crucial aspect of the foundation construction process. The actual foundation structure depends heavily on good site work.

The criteria states that all subgrade and embankment fill be placed at proper compaction at optimum moisture content. Before any of this work is done, though, consideration of historical circumstances of the site is required.

The typical homesite occurs as part of a development. The developer tailors homesite lots for future home construction. Most developments entail a degree of site work on each homesite lot. For example, the developer often cuts streets to grades lower than the actual lot building site for the sake of drainage. The excess embankment soil removed from the street is often placed on the homesite lot. This effort usually augments good off homesite drainage.

Sometimes the developer processes this spread out embankment fill, but no existing code requirement demands this work. It remains the responsibility of the home builder to assure full depth compaction and processing has been completed.

The treatment history of each homesite should be properly investigated to assure that no non-engineered (non-compacted) embankment soil has been placed on the site in the past. If non-compacted soils of more than one foot of depth exist, then the entire building site should be reprocessed down at least to the virgin soils. Even if the site had been properly prepared prior to construction, the surface soils, at least, should be reprocessed if sufficient time has past since the initial work. Surface soils typically dry and deteriorate with time.

These issues are of particular importance with non-level sites.

The Panhandle Residential Foundation Manual design Tables R401.2(a) and R401.2(b) provide specific footing/slab criteria for the more lean clays (R401.2(a)), and for the more expansive clay (R401.2(b)). These notes provide a methodology for determining the particular soil type for a site by using the Web Soil Survey website. For the most part, the use of these stated guidelines are sufficient. A subsequent blog shall discuss the use and the limitations of the Web Soil Survey.

It must be kept in mind, however, that the Web Soil Survey presumes on site virgin soils. In most development projects, the movements of the soils about a site as previously described here do not affect changes in the nature of the soils to any notable degree, so the Web Soil Survey will be useful in these circumstances.

It is possible,though, significant earthwork could be accomplished to the extent that the nature of the on-site soils can be changed. The Web Soil Survey may not apply under these conditions. Awareness of these potential changes is essential. Any foreign soil placed on a virgin site should be compatable from a foundation performance standpoint.

Significantly dis-similar soils should not be layered on a particular homesite. Sandy, non plastic soils should not be placed directly on a clayey soil site. Conversely, clayey soils should not be placed on a sandy site.

For example, a site’s suitability for construction shall be degraded if embankment soils from an area of fatty, more highly expansive soils are placed on a naturally more sandy clayey or lean clay site. On the other hand, if a sandy, more pervious soil is placed on a more impervious clay soil site, then the sand layers near the surface will readily absorb drainage, only to have that excess moisture trapped over the deeper, more impervious clay strata. This tends to create perched moisture zones on top of the virgin clay layers; which shall add to the expansive potential of the underlying clays.

On a future blog, the implications of poor and improperly prepared site conditions on the foundations systems shall be discussed.

The bottom line in all home building site preparation efforts is that all parties be aware of the actual site conditions and be attuned for the proposed foundation design criteria. Numerous resources are available to help assure the most optimal treatment of any site is accomplished. Future blogs shall discuss various options to properly investigate soil issues on sites.

Back in 2012, I helped the Building Safety Department of the City of Amarillo prepare the “Panhandle Residential Foundation Manual”. The purpose of this manual was to provide a guideline for home builders to construct residential foundation systems that were adaptable to the site conditions in the Texas Panhandle.

Most of the surface soils in the Llano Estacado region are considered to be at least moderately expansive. Expansive soils are the nemesis to problem free construction world wide. The International Residential Code (IRC) has stipulated that all residential foundation systems placed on expansive soils are to be designed by a qualified geotechnical engineer.

The Building Safety Department of the City of Amarillo endeavored to comply with the current IRC. As stated, most of the regional soils are classified as expansive (lean or fat clayey soils). However, the general consistency of the soils across the region are relatively similar. It was recognized that the application of a relatively standard residential foundation system across the region could be feasible.

In the past, residential foundation system designs in the area had more or less evolved with limited guidance from the City. Historically, the adapted methodologies had sufficed to a degree. However, home construction has often been plagued by subsequent foundation movement. These movements often resulted in nuisance cracking on interior and exterior cladding, random sloping of flooring, and limited drainage issues. Seldom did these defects lead to structural failure. However, considerable expense by both builders and home owners often was required to resolve issues to at least a marginal degree.

The City’s “Panhandle Residential Foundation Manual” has, for the most part, fostered improved residential foundation construction i/n recent years. Proper understanding and adherence to the Guidelines lends well to the minimization of foundation and building site issues.

The Manual sets forth the appropriate criteria. The engineering foundation designs provided therein are base on rational engineering adaptation to anticipated regional soils. However, the criteria promulgated and actually dictated does not and can not offer more than absolutely necessary expansions of the design philosophy, foundation/soil interaction concepts, and additional considerations that may be helpful in the assuring the best residential foundation possible.

For this reason, it is my intent to submit a series of articles and blogs on my site, “brtillerytimebridge.com” to provide further discussions and inputs regarding the regional residential construction designs in addition to issues of quality assurance in residential construction.

These blog articles primarily seek the audience of home and structural building professionals. However, the home owner who may wish to be properly informed of issues that commonly arise to home building professionals may find these pieces to be of use.

These articles shall refer substantially to the aforementioned “Panhandle Residential Foundation Guideline”; the International Residential Code (IRC); the OSHA Part 1926, Subpart P (Trench and Excavation Safety Regulations); my own publication “Jobsite Supervisor’s Home Construction Quality Assurance Document and Manual” by BR Tillery; (available as an ebook from lulu.com); the ASCE Texas Section’s “Recommended Practice for Design of Residential Foundations” which can be found at the back of the Panhandle Foundation Design Manual; and finally, the Texas Administrative Code Chapters on the Residential Construction Commission.

Comments, questions, and requests for subject matter are welcome.

Studies in the physics of quantum mechanics have evolved into concepts known as a “conscious universe”.  Dr. Amit Goswami is a renoun author and quantum physicist.  He contends that all reality is grounded by a “universal consciousness”.

In quantum physics, all objects exist only as waves of possibilities until a conscious entity observes these waves to “collapse” into actual events.  This is called the “observer effect”, which is an accepted phenomenon in modern physics.

According to Goswami, our brains and our being are a form of “collapsed” waves that are our experienced reality.  This creates a paradox, because if we are the subject of “collapse” from the observer effect, then how can we possibly be the observers ourselves?  In other words, a possibility (us) cannot act on another possibility (an object).  The resolution of this paradox for consciousness is to be the base of all things, or a Universal Consciousness.

Were it to be that we are the base observers of reality, then it would stand that each one of us would form our own individual realities.  In other words, all the other realities not our own would simply be illusions of our own making.  Everyone else is the figment of our own imagination.

It therefore stands to reason that a unity of consciousness saves us from the possibility of untold essentially unrelated realities.  We may be unique individuals, but we are in union with one consciousness that chooses actuality from quantum possibilities.  This sounds a lot like “becoming One with God, or God’s children”.

The visible world gives us experience of sensation and time; but we also have the experience of feelings, thinking, intuition, love, compassion, and imagination.  This is a universally grounded consciousness that is known as “soul”.

We have learned by teachings of religions to seek awareness of what we deem our Creator’s Presence (unity of consciousness) through prayer and meditation.  Our life in the material world has conditioned us in the development of our individual egos to see ourselves as separate and unique individuals.  This first lesson after birth confirms our separateness as unique creatures.  Survival dictates appropriate conditioning.  However, this conditioning causes the individual to consider oneself as a completely independent entity.

Only when one seeks the awareness of a unity of connection with all others and the material reality does one realize separation to be the real illusion.  So if our perceived separation is mere illusion, then evidence of our natural connectedness should be present.

The evidence of connectedness is present.  Consider a simple group gathered under the banner of a common mission.  Those involved sense a natural coming together.

The act of creation seems to occur beyond material reality.  Most artists and others involved in the creative process typically experience their greatest inspiration from simply “out of the blue”.  Writers often experience the feelings that some power beyond their control guides their writing hand.

Dr. Goswami stipulates this creative epiphany is essentially a macro “quantum jump” that is beyond time or locality, and is an aspect of the unity of consciousness.

My living body has informed me since my birth that I am one separate and unique individual creature.  But I believe I have experienced the so called “quantum jump” on various occasions when I feel particularly inspired by an experience.

So now my question is , “Shall I no longer experience the illusion of separateness once the issue of my personal material survival is no longer a factor?  Will the aspect of my being that is not material, those qualities we call thought, love, and consciousness, that are not replaceable in the material world continue beyond?”

If I’m truly not separate, then I would speculate that I shall become One with the Whole.  Perhaps that is where I have been all along, except my limited material classic awareness was not able to absorb that reality except on special occasions of epiphany and awareness.

We’ve all heard those near death stories people tell about seeing a light or something like that; as death seems to beckon them to walk toward.  I have experienced my own near death the day I very nearly died after being electrocuted.  I’m told my heart stopped on the way to the emergency room.  I recall nothing.  I simply momentarily revived consciousness, wondering why I found myself in an emergency room.  It was like waking from an afternoon nap wondering where one is and what is the time.

However, I have experienced the epiphany of approaching death in the act of fabricating the imminent death of one of my fictional characters of an ill fated novel I tried to write several years ago.

In that story, I included a grandfather character who had cancer.  He approached his death.  I wrote intimately as he passed through the stages of finality from his own perspective.  I essentially experienced his dying moments along with him.  I got down to the few seconds before he passed.

I can’t explain it, but some how I shared his visions of those very brief moments.  Right now, I can only vaguely recall the overwhelming consuming essence of eternity.  These words I offer today can only paint an unfocused black and white photograph of an untouchable reality. It remains impossible to wholly resurrect that phenomenon.  I could sense a total understanding of the all including essence of all space and time, of all hearts and souls of past, present, and future.  Essentially, I believe I was provided with a whisp of the eternal.

The memory of the encounter can only acknowledge it happened, but not the essence of the experience.

Some have declared, “My whole life passed before my eyes in those moments of near death.”  I think perhaps these individuals are attempting to relate their concept of the eternal with those words.

Accounts are widespread regarding the impressions on family members as they watch the moments of passing of a loved one.  The dying person offers an expression that can only be taken as the eternal peace with eyes that reflect beyond reality.

I think those who passed are consumed by that experience some of us only are able to have a glancing touch in that moment of epiphany.

We can live our lives seeking the removal of the separation illusion.  That can be a triumph of life.  It can be the coming home; then someday, to stay

The road has always called to me.  It seems travel of any type and anywhere has enticed my imagination for as far back as I can remember.

I love to hike, most especially in variable surroundings.  The best days of any vacation are the days we’re back on the road again.

My career choice allowed for some travel; but those days out in the field were always the best.

That passion existed in the beginning, and it remains perhaps even more pronounced now in my later years.  I think I would be most content to be on the go somewhere seventy, eighty, or maybe even ninety percent of the time.  I’m always ready to go.

I now ask myself, now that my fixed obligations in my retirement are not quite so severe, why am I not out there more now?

I’ve viewed those retirees who spend most of their time out  “RVing” and just sight seeing and such a little selfish.  They’re not attaching themselves to a community so that they may be on a school board or something useful like that.

My own experience of limited vacationing and sight seeing for a week or so during my working life found me ready to get back to work.  I had always said, “I’ve had enough of the candy and desert of touring vacations, but now I’m ready to get back to the meat of life and my work.”

I suppose I’ve carried that same attitude into my retirement  even though I’ve been pretty well out of the work force for almost ten years now.

In the back of my mind, I suppose I’ve told myself that I should be at home working on something, even if it’s just a retirement project, rather than going out traveling somewhere to sight see and such.  After all, to what use can I put to just looking at stuff without being productive or something?

As a result, I spend much of my time on this or that project that I often enjoy, but when push comes to shove, I find myself often longing to get out and find something to do perhaps somewhere far away.  I’m starting to wonder if I’ll regret not getting out enough before my health begins to fail; and that event could occur any day at my age now into it’s eighth decade.

So I’m finding myself a little conflicted now.  Essentially, I’m rediscovering the basic foundation of my soul is that of a wanderer.  I inherited this trait from my maternal grandfather.  He went back to his first love, the sea, as he neared fifty years.  I totally understand.

So if I resign myself to my basic root passions, I will become a late coming wanderer.  A more enticing term would be “adventurer”.

A question arises, though.  Of what value is my wandering experience going to be for me, my family, and my community?  First glance would say none whatsoever.  Would it simply be a quest of self indulgence?   In a way, this thinking has kept my from doing just that up to this point in time.

I’ve completed several of my planned retirement projects.  I’ve built my new hangar.  I’ve got two airplanes running in good shape.  I rebuilt and sold a pop-up camper, a 2 ton truck, several houses my wife had inherited, and a 1974 Airstream trailer.  I’m in the process of doing all I plan to do on a 1932 Chevy sedan I’ve had since high school.  I’m thinking of selling that car so I can make room for the wood sail boat kit I may plan to order.

All this time, though, I’m asking myself as to whether or not I’m doing things that fill me; things that honor God’s will for me at this stage of my life? Many people say that God gives  us gifts intending to grow his Kingdom; and those gifts come in the form of talents and passions God places in our hearts.  Hindus use the term “Atman”.  The goal of the Hindu individual is to seek and find the basic foundation of his soul that makes him who he is.  The discovery of his passion in life renders an insight of this “Atman”.

Well, what did I say about clear, on-going passion in my life?  Travel and adventure!  Should I and could I ignore a basic tenant of who and what I am?  But I am in conflict.  Really? Didn’t I just indicate that travel and adventure on my part would only be self indulgent?

Perhaps a fracture in the Universe comes into play in my case?  Ain’t life a bitch!

Well, wait a minute.  If my logic makes any sense at all, then the passions I possess are to be considered the gifts of my Creator.  Those passions are to be interpreted for the sake of Eternity, are they not?

So perhaps I need to review my perspective?  Perhaps some value may exist in my desire to travel and find adventure at this stage of my life?

On more than one occasion, I have found myself in conversation with others.  We would speak of things we saw and did while on trips.  One of us would say, “I tend to pay more attention to my surroundings when I travel.  Everything I see is new and possibly unfamiliar.  Traveling makes me more aware of my immediate surroundings.  While I’m at home, everything is the same.  I tend to ignore the things about me and remain a little more absorbed in the routine things.”

Recalling these conversations made me think a little.  That’s why Iove to travel!  It’s the ongoing stimulus of the new and the unfamiliar.  I’m much more in tune with the things around me.  For example, how stark those desert mountains are; or the color of the light on that butte; and so it goes.  One panorama after another!

As I take a resting breath on the rock outcropping overlooking the phenomenal canyon where I’d just been hiking, I whisper to the Spirit about me how grand this place is.  I’m filled with gratefulness and praise for this moment.

I enjoy reading articles of the studies of early pre-homo sapien creatures whom scientists believe may be the precursors of humanity.  Arguments prevail as to when the possible descendants of these creatures can be defined as human.  One argument goes saying these fellows became human once they demonstrate recognition for their dead by offering proper respect of some sort.  These creatures have recognized their lives can be more than just what is seen.  They have begun some form of relationship with an unseen, but underlying power.  They can now be called human.

We humans can define ourselves similarly.  We are the only creatures who have become aware to be capable of imagining beyond our surroundings.  This means we are capable of being aware of the possibility of an all encompassing surrounding Spirit.  We may not be specifically aware of what this nature is, but we naturally sense its presence.  We can conceive beyond our immediate viewpoint.  We can imagine.

When I travel in the midst of some sort of outdoor endeavor, I am consumed by my surroundings.  I offer praise for the opportunity.  I am communicating a relationship with the Eternal.

The Creator conceived of a creature with whom He could cherish.  One who had the capability of recognition of the essence of Eternity.  This is the purpose of the existence of humanity and of life, itself.

Yes, there is a purpose and a source of fulfillment in my passion for the road!

 

Wanted!  Readers who are ready to fly to Mars and beyond!  Only those who dream of exploration and adventure in frontiers mankind has never sought before need apply. I once regretted being born too late to be one of the frontiersmen who saw western America for the first time before any others.  But I compensated by learning to fly and doing those things my predecessors could only dream.

Today, young adventurer, the pursuit of the ultimate is within your grasp.  You can join the cadre of space pioneers! You have the opportunity to make Mars or even greater places your new home!  Or you can be part of the team who shall make that possibility real for others who will! Now I regret that I was born too early because my age will not allow me to see you succeed!

It’s not too early to begin thinking and imagining even beyond Mars and our Solar System.  The next logical step is the Galaxy.  It is inevitable.  Our perspective of time shall change when such events are before us.  We shall use the bridges of time to reach beyond and find new worlds.

Our forefathers of the American frontier yearned to challenge themselves, to discover and build new homes in a great wilderness.  This same opportunity shall exist in the centuries to come to new generations of pioneers who shall seek new worlds to build and grow throughout the Galaxy.  These intrepid seekers shall use the time bridge to make real their dreams.

My “Time Bridge Series” shall reveal the future of our humanity as we become Galactic Creatures!

In the process, our past shall be revealed.  We are the descendents of those same intrepid travelers who, millennia upon millennia ago, had ventured out to find our Earth from places far beyond our imagination and distances across our Galaxy!

The pioneer in our DNA has origins in the depths of our Universe.

Come explore this epic journey of our past and of our future with me.

Look for my soon to be published first issue of the “Time Bridge Series” I have titled “The Time Bridge Project”.  Email me at ray.tillery@yahoo.com to remain posted on the progress of this publication.

Bernard Ray Tillery